Natürlich kann der geneigte Leser heutzutage mithilfe moderner Erweiterungen seines Browsers (oder auf anderem Weg) jeglichen Text in jede mögliche Sprache übersetzen. Fürs erste Verständnis ist das recht hilfreich. Doch hat die künstliche Intelligenz auch alles richtig gemacht? In diesem Fall hat sie – fast – alles richtig gemacht. Ich war beeindruckt (und hatte nebenher auch einiges an Zeit gespart). Wenn Sie mögen, lesen Sie hier die von mir autorisierte englische Version meines Krippenspiels.
Stefan Engel – A Christmas Play
(translated to English by chatgpt, artificial intelligence)
Characters:
Three angels – feel free to give them individual names
A family: father, mother, son, daughter
Active pastor/priest
Altar area: A family’s living room. Four or five seats (armchair, bench, sofa, chair).
A Christmas tree stands unnoticed in a corner. Gradually, the family enters, all already staring at screens (smartphone, tablet, laptop – one of the kids might also be visibly wearing headphones). Everyone takes a seat, in silence, eyes fixed on their device, swiping or typing now and then. No eye contact. No talking. Somewhere in the background, unnoticed Christmas music plays…
The family is completely unaware of what’s about to happen. Because humans can neither see nor hear the angels…
Angel 1 enters (up front, not paying attention to the family yet, sighs contentedly, rubbing hands with excitement):
Ah! Finally, I’m back on Christmas duty again. I’ve really missed this: during our inspection rounds through the living rooms – the joy in the children’s eyes, the parents all nervous about whether the presents will be a hit, that festive anticipation, the singing, the chatting around the tree…
(pause – mood shift to gloomy and annoyed)
Instead, I’ve been stuck with Saint Peter at Heaven’s gate, checking new arrivals: name, date of death, list of good deeds, list of bad deeds. (groans) And always the same old excuses when the bad deeds list is too long – century after century the same old tune! (drawn out) Boooring!
Angel 2 enters:
Hey, number 1! On Christmas duty again? Long time no see…
Angel 1:
Yep! (waves dismissively) Been stuck on gate duty with Peter…
Angel 2:
Oh dear! That must’ve bored you to death.
Angel 1:
If I weren’t already dead – a thousand times over! I don’t know what was worse: the whiny humans or Peter’s endless stories about crossing the sea on the way to Rome. His favorite’s the one where he took over the ship’s helm from the captain, who was too seasick to steer. I could recite that tale in my sleep!
Angel 2: (knowingly grins)
Yeah, the old guy’s really full of himself.
Angel 1:
Anyway, let’s get going! (rubs hands again) Time to check on the Christmas vibes! (they both turn to the family)
Angel 2: (resigned)
Knew it!
Angel 1: (pointing at the family)
What are they doing? No singing? No music-making? I do hear something… (confused) I mean, record players were around in my day, too… (searches) But where is it? And why are they all just glued to those glowing boards?
Angel 2:
Well, my friend (pats Angel 1 on the back), welcome to the modern world. Those things are called laptops, tablets, or smartphones.
Angel 1: (indignant)
Don’t act so smart. I do know some English – I am an angel, after all! (laughs at his own pun)
But seriously – who comes up with such silly names? Laptop – “lap-top”? Tablet – like a “tray”? Smartphone – “smart noise”? Doesn’t explain why they’re all staring at them like zombies!
Angel 2: (thoughtful)
Yeah… I’m not entirely sure either. But maybe we can try to get their attention and ask. (waves arms, gestures around)
Angel 1:
Come on, number 2! You keep forgetting: the Old Guy gave us that invisibility shield. They can’t see a thing! If we really strain, maybe they’ll hear us. What if we try singing?
Angel 2:
Great idea! (to the congregation)
Hey, maybe you all can help us out here, right? (Cue: Song X)
Singing
Angel 2: (after the song, looks at the still-distracted family)
Hmm… that did absolutely nothing. Now what?
Angel 1:
I’ll turn off the lights. (claps – lights go off)
Angel 2: (observes family, still staring at lit screens)
Nothing. Turn it back on.
Angel 1: (claps again – lights come back on)
Angel 3 suddenly appears beside them:
Yo, you two are so old-school! With lame tricks like that, you won’t get anyone off the couch these days.
Angel 1: (to Angel 2)
Who’s this youngster?
Angel 2: (shrugs)
No clue, must be new. (turns to Angel 3) Who are you?
Angel 3:
Hi, I’m Angel 3, fresh from Angel University! I studied Media Studies, Psychology, and Computer Science – all the important human stuff (dramatic pause) you two clearly know nothing about.
Angel 2: (offended)
Now hang on a sec! I do know the mother’s fiddling with her smartphone!
Angel 3: (confidently)
And? Do you know what app she’s using or what she’s doing on it?
Angel 2: (embarrassed)
I… I know what it’s called…
Angel 3:
Exactly! Knew it! You guys need me to spark some proper Christmas spirit and get those gadgets outta their hands! It’s easy: just grab their IP addresses and cut the Wi-Fi or mobile signal. Watch this! (claps)
The family “wakes up”:
Everyone fiddles with their screens, presses buttons, swipes… Eventually, they put the devices down and look at each other.
Son:
Hey! What the heck? The Wi-Fi’s totally down! Mom? You did unlock my restriction, right?
Mother:
Of course, sweetheart! But that’s not it – I’ve got no signal on my phone either.
Father:
My laptop’s out, too…
Daughter:
Daddy, why isn’t my TikTok working?
Father:
Must be something with the router. I’ll check the office and plug in directly. (exits)
Angel 3: (to the others)
See? Easy as pie.
Angel 1:
Then let’s try a song again! (to congregation)
You’ll help us again, right? (Cue: Song Y)
Singing
Father returns:
That was weird! The router was totally fine. All settings normal. Just to be sure, I unplugged it, plugged it back in, hit “reset,” and look – it’s working again!
Daughter: (checks phone)
Awesome, Dad! TikTok’s back!
(The family immediately starts staring at their screens again.)
Angel 1: (to Angel 3)
Well, genius? That was a bust. Back to square one!
Angel 3:
Hey, chill out, guys! The Big Man upstairs didn’t rain down fire and brimstone right away either. Time for stage two (dramatic pause): Interference signal! (grins) That’ll scramble those silly things good! Just wait! (to congregation)
We need some real, heartfelt Christmas spirit! All that positive energy helps. How about another song? (Names a classic that the whole church likely knows and sings along loudly)
Singing
(During the song, one by one, the family turns off their devices and sets them aside.)
Singing ends
Angel 2: (amazed)
Look at that! It worked!
Son:
Dad, something’s weird… I got like a ton of kills in Fortnite and won the match, but now it feels kinda… wrong?
Daughter:
Mom, check this out – this influencer on TikTok is so photoshopped. Does she actually think I’ll believe that beauty stuff works like that?
Mother: (to her husband)
Honey, I think I’m deleting that shopping app from my phone. That junk’s just useless.
Father: (to his wife)
You’re right. And honestly – that app for optimizing our stock portfolio… Doesn’t really seem worth it anymore. Money isn’t everything…
Daughter:
Daddy, what am I getting for Christmas?
Father: (sheepishly)
I had some promising shareholder options… (pause, thoughtful)
But suddenly that doesn’t seem so important anymore.
Son:
Hey, is that war in Syria (or Ukraine, or another current conflict) real? Like, are those people in the news actually dead?
Mother:
I’m afraid it’s true.
Daughter:
Can’t we do something about it, Mom?
Mother:
It’s hard. But I think we should start right here at home.
Father:
You’re right! Hey kiddo – after the holidays, let’s fix up your old bike and give it to that refugee family across the street, okay?
Son:
Awesome idea, Dad! Finally something we’re doing together! (They exit together.)
Daughter:
Mom, can we take some cookies to Mrs. Miller upstairs? She looked so sad earlier in the stairwell…
Mother:
Absolutely, sweetheart. Let’s go! (They exit too.)
Angel 2: (steps into now-empty room)
Well, who would’ve thought?
Angel 1:
That got pretty exciting in the end.
Angel 3:
See? Just takes the right amount of Christmas spirit!
Angel 2:
That’s how it’s always been.
Angel 1:
Good thing we all (gestures to congregation) made it happen together.
Pastor/priest enters:
Yes, angels – thank you for helping us see it again. (The angels signal they’re ready to leave.)
Take care! See you next year! It’s good to know you’re watching over us!
Angel 1: (smirking)
We are! Not just once a year…
Angels 1, 2, 3: (exit, waving)
Bye! Take care! See you!
Pastor/priest continues the service